Empire State of Mind
Strategy, hegemony, and the Real Housewives of New York
The Real Housewives of New York is prestige television. Friends roll their eyes whenever I say this and ask how I can enjoy something so "trashy", but I think this says more about their bad taste than mine. Aside from the fact that our culture is saturated with memes and gifs that come from the ‘Bravo Cinematic Universe’ (Taylor Armstrong screaming at a cat at a dining table?), these shows deliver moments that — as an aspiring writer — I wish I could create.
New York did this better than any other franchise. The multi-season “cold war” between Bethenny and Dorinda was as epic as the dynastic struggles on Game of Thrones. If Luann de Lesseps' short, tragi-comic marriage to Tom D'Agostino were turned into a film, it would sweep up more awards than Oppenheimer. And for all the drama, there was also a lot of joy. The women were friends and enjoyed each other’s company and had fun.
I also love RHONY because it has some of the best strategists on Bravo. Housewives need to be good at strategy because they are all in a struggle for hegemony. They need to dominate storylines to stay on their shows, enjoy more social prestige than their castmates, and marshal allies against anyone who challenges them. Other franchises have great players of the game — Lisa Vanderpump on Beverly Hills, Kandi Burruss on Atlanta — but only RHONY had so many operating against one another all at the same time.
By ranking the best strategists on the show, I am bringing together these two seemingly very different passions of mine…
What do Housewives want?
Strategy is achieving your ambitions as stuff outside your control tries to stop you. Before I talk about New York’s best, I need to clarify what Housewives want.
There are three key ambitions:
Longevity
Staying on the show for as many seasons as possible. They need to keep giving “story” in order to avoid getting fired, put “on pause”, or demoted to Friend Of. Longevity is necessary but not sufficient to be considered a good strategist, however. Luann and Sonja Morgan were the second and third longest-serving cast members on RHONY but they weren’t the best players of the game because they fell short on the other two.
Prestige
Being held in high esteem by most of the cast, as well as the wider community. This is rarely tied to money or class. Luann was reputedly one of the wealthiest New York Housewives but the other women made fun of her clothing line, her singing career, and her Countess title. Aviva Drescher was also apparently one of the wealthiest, yet she was viscerally disliked. Prestige usually reflects the extent to which a Housewife is self-made, how real their endeavours or business ventures are, and their shrewdness in pursuing them.
Allies
Marshalling coalitions against challengers. Lawrence Freedman says one of the best strategic moves is combining with others. On RHONY, this is connected to prestige. Housewives with little of it struggle to find allies. Aviva was the worst at coalition-building, triggering simultaneous feuds with three of the best strategists on the show.
Across twelve seasons — we don’t talk about the thirteenth — this is how the cast fared:
So, who were the best strategists and why?
5. Heather
Heather Thomson was only around for three seasons but dominated most of them. This was due in part to fortunate timing. She joined after a cast shake-up and only had to deal with "middle power" Housewives like Luann, Sonja, and Ramona Singer. Given her actually successful business, she enjoyed a lot of prestige and was able to marshal a broad coalition against Aviva — leading to iconic television…
Yet this hegemony ended in Season 7 when Bethenny Frankel returned and Dorinda Medley joined the show. Heather struggled to compete against these “superpowers”. Unlike many Housewives, she chose to leave after the finale, wanting to focus on her family and her company.
4. Ramona
Ramona was a classic middle power on the make. She wanted to dominate the show but struggled to build and lead coalitions. Whenever she attacked either of the two superpowers, the “Singer Stinger” quickly found herself isolated and was always forced to give up. This happened most spectacularly when she brought up a topless scene that Bethenny once did in a low-budget movie and then escalated it into an existential conflict:
During a gloriously drunken trip to Mexico, she admitted defeat and apologised for her behaviour. “The one thing about Ramona,” said Bethenny, “if she’s in [front of] a firing squad, she will kiss everyone’s ass till we’re not mad at her anymore.”
She was at her most effective whenever coalitions assembled against that other middle power on the make — Luann — and she could lend her weight to them. And when Bethenny found herself unusually isolated from the cast after falling out with Carole Radziwill, Ramona saw an opportunity to finally displace her great antagonist.
3. Dorinda
I believe that the multi-season cold war between Bethenny and Dorinda created what is seen as High RHONY. These smart, tough, shrewd women who knew how to give "story" spent years manoeuvring against one another. As they were equally matched in terms of allies and prestige, they often confronted one another through proxies like Jules, Luann, and Sonja — arguably upending their lives.
Dorinda joined the show several seasons in but quickly established herself as a fan-favourite, as well as a force among the women. She was already friends with Luann and Ramona, so started off with them as allies; both she and Carole were widows, so she quickly formed a bond with her; and Bethenny acknowledged Dorinda as a "smart cookie" for the way she sold her late husband's company. Her country estate, Bluestone Manor, also became integral to the show and enhanced her prestige.
The cold war started early in Season 8. Although they were already a bit competitive with one another, Bethenny and Dorinda wanted to be friends — they both liked and respected one another. Then Bethenny made the mistake of telling Dorinda that her boyfriend John (a “sweaty dry-cleaner”) kept trying to solicit investment for get-rich-quick schemes. Ramona followed this up by claiming that he also boasts about taking Viagra and “doing her for six hours”...
Despite her intimidating "Dornados", she preferred to be stealthy when practicing strategy. As she once said: "I am stalking my prey, and when I position [them] correctly, I'm going to go in for the kill." Less charitably, some of the women call her "Dorinda Meddler". She quietly egged on Jules in her spat with Bethenny and encouraged Luann to be sceptical about her fiancé’s infidelity because, it seemed, the rumours came from her. Yet Dorinda had to contend with the same proxy tactic, fending off attacks from Sonja that were backed by her superpower rival:
When Bethenny left for good, Dorinda enjoyed a brief unipolar moment — holding sway over the show for a season before being put "on pause".
2. Carole
I almost ranked Carole as the best strategist on RHONY. She had a longer run than many people remember. Although apparently one of the least wealthy Housewives, she enjoyed the most prestige due to her careers as an author and journalist, as well as the allure of her connection to the Kennedys. She also had more allies than anyone else — usually the most powerful ones, too.
For most of her six season run, Carole's only antagonists were Aviva and Luann. Interestingly, both tried to undermine her prestige. Aviva claimed that she didn't write her bestselling memoir about the death of her husband Anthony Radziwill. Luann accused her of dating her niece's ex while they were still together. Yet they struggled to marshal anyone against Carole because she was too well-liked and their claims were too crazy.
Although she was often accused of being the "pet" of more powerful Housewives, Carole was actually a key swing actor, which is why I believe she is one of the best strategists. She maintained her friendships with Bethenny, Dorinda, and Heather without ever being asked to choose sides in their feuds. When Bethenny fell out with her, she found herself isolated from the group:
Unfortunately, Carole then made the ultimate strategic error by crossing the real power in the Bravo universe — Andy Cohen. The glee on Bethenny’s face…
1. Bethenny
This suggests why Bethenny was the best strategist on The Real Housewives of New York. She understood the game better than anyone else and she played it ruthlessly.
Bethenny gave so much good "story" that she became a star and dictated her presence on the show. When she returned in Season 7, she established near-hegemony and never lost it. Through her business acumen, she became significantly wealthier than her castmates and could wield her influence like a sledgehammer. Whenever she was seriously challenged by anyone lower on the prestige ladder — Kristen, Jules — they never made it back.
Yet like any good strategist, Bethenny also understood power. Despite her many bare-knuckled arguments with Luann, Bethenny allied with her when she fell out with Dorinda. She made a misstep in losing Carole, but more than anyone else on the show she understood the importance of a connection with Andy.
For all her faults, she is undoubtedly the most strategic player of this franchise — maybe even all of them.
If you haven’t watched RHONY yet, I recommend doing Season 7-11, then circling back to the beginning.